I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
