I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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