I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
