What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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