So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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