You just made me feel so damn special
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
