Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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