He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
