his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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