Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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