yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
