She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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