Will you blow on my dice?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
