she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
