Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
