what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
