one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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