were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
