he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he was CRYING into my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The adults are the big ones right?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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