You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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