why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
