FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He better not be in your backpack
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize