Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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