Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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