I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
