Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize