Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
