Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
