Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
