If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
