He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
