so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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