I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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