how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
