They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
