she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
