so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
