so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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