Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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