They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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