come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
