Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
