he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
