you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You did what with his pubic hair?
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