did you get engaged???
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
