Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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