I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
