Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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