so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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