can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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