Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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