Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
