I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
