i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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