i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
