so that wasnt chicken after all
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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