You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
