She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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