Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
