I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize